A funny via...

...The Old Coach.

If you're offended by PG-13 type language/mental images, go no further.  If you're okay with that stuff, as long as it doesn't get to the R level, please continue.

Coaches share funniest things they've seen at track meets and other events here.

Among my favorites (not going to bother inserting all the [sic]'s necessary):

Just last night saw a kid getting ready to run the 400. He must have bought out all of the neon sleeves at Academy. Had his arms and legs covered in "look at me" orange and "here I am" green. He was dancing around behind the blocks and making sure he made enough noise for every one to notice. At the final turn, he was getting smoked by the field and suddenly slows up and grabs the hammy. Does the loser's limp the last50 meters or so milking it the whole way as the croud gave him the pity clap. The finish judge called for his coach, and the coach told him, "He ain't hurt. As soon as the applause stops he will be better."

At a wrestling meet where the brackets were late being posted, I grabbed bout cards and started yelling names. Another coach comes over to help: "Johnson, Texas School for the Deaf, Johnson Texas School for the deaf" I leaned over and said I don't think they can hear you..not sure to this day if he realizes what he was doing..

I was working the discus ring at our home track meet last year. Some kid kept scratching on his warm up and his coach was getting pissed. Now, this coach was the standard o-line type of guy. He must have been wider than he was tall. He got in the ring to demonstrate the "proper" spin motion for his athlete. This fat arse, disc in hand, begins his spin, hits a bit of dirt in the ring, and busts his tail! Shirt comes un-tucked, belly sloshes out for all to see, shorts ripped, face planted firmly on the cement ring, and disc hits the ground about two feet outside the ring. I couldn't help myself, I yelled "Mark!!!"

All those kids around the ring busted out laughing. That coach wasn't seen much more that day!