Friday, August 31, 2007


The folks at Swimming World have been great about my poking fun at them now and then. Their legal department has not threatened to sue me - yet.

Picking on TimedFinals didn't work out so well for TimedPrelims, though. They've had to revamp their site since our last visit.

They welcome your suggestions on who they should try to interview next, as well as what questions you'd like them to ask.

I'd like to see them interview Kirsten Groome of First Colony and ask her some questions about distance (both pool and open water) swimming.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Excuses for Missing Practices

I was looking at The Old Coach forum today and saw a thread about excuses for missing football two-a-days.

Here are some of the better ones:

I have to stay at home because my new step-mom (mail order bride from Russia) went crazy and pulled a gun on my dad because my real mom came home from her year long trip to Amsterdam and she did not know that I had a new mom and they got in a fight. I have to stay home for 2 days so I can visit my mom.

I have to stay home because my grandma is taking me to the first recording of The Price is Right w/Drew Carey. I will be back on the 20th.

Coached with a guy for three years. He missed two a days twice because of honeymoons [two different ladies].

"Sorry coach, I'm just so tired, my girlfriend is back in town and she brought her cousin with her." Not sure if I could fault the kid here.......

Had a kid a few years back that came to me after the morning workout...."Hey coach, I won't be here this afternoon or in the morning for practice. I'm getting married at 1:00 at the courthouse and my mother-in-law has got us a room at the Best Western."

My mom has a date with my uncle and I have to stay home and watch my brother and my cousins.

Coach...I didn't know we practiced on Fridays.

Had a kid who told his grandma he didn't have to go to practice because he was doing so good we let him have the day off. When he came back we confronted him with it and he said he had met a girl on the internet and had to go meet her. Brain surgeon!

Coach we are going shopping, tax free weekend I won't be at the scrimmage.

A kid told our head coach yesterday that his throat was hurting and that his aunt who is a nurse told him his esophagus may be scratched and there was a good chance he was going to have it removed.

"Coach, I thought you meant practice was in two days".

"Coach I can't work out today. My parents told me I have lactic acid in my muscles and it hurts really bad."

Coach: Kelly why were you not at practice.
Kelly: 3 reasons coach. The heat, the hitting, and the running.
Coach: Hard to argue with that son.

Had our senior receiver show up late because his mother had a date the night before and had not returned to take him to morning practice!

Along the married lines--had one that was just married and missed a practice. "Coach my back is out-- think we been doing it on the floor to much."

Hurricane Harbor (water park) with church group. Missed a scrimmage for a water park. Hurt his wrist at the park and will miss the second scrimmage. Love jv lineman!

Had to miss practice for Gee-tar lessons...

Had a kid call in sick and then had the balls to drive by the practice field and honk, rev up his engine, while towing his wave-runner. He's no longer with us!

I'm sure you swim coaches have heard some funny ones yourselves. Feel free to leave your best as comments.

Edited 10/8/14:

Still plenty of traffic ta this post.  Several more follered.  In case y'all is innerested:

More Excuses

Still More Excuses

Even More Excuses

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Holy Guacamole!

Boys had a good time fishing last night:

Bobby (w/Dan):