I was looking at The Old Coach forum today and saw a thread about excuses for missing football two-a-days.
Here are some of the better ones:
I have to stay at home because my new step-mom (mail order bride from Russia) went crazy and pulled a gun on my dad because my real mom came home from her year long trip to Amsterdam and she did not know that I had a new mom and they got in a fight. I have to stay home for 2 days so I can visit my mom.
I have to stay home because my grandma is taking me to the first recording of The Price is Right w/Drew Carey. I will be back on the 20th.
Coached with a guy for three years. He missed two a days twice because of honeymoons [two different ladies].
"Sorry coach, I'm just so tired, my girlfriend is back in town and she brought her cousin with her." Not sure if I could fault the kid here.......
Had a kid a few years back that came to me after the morning workout...."Hey coach, I won't be here this afternoon or in the morning for practice. I'm getting married at 1:00 at the courthouse and my mother-in-law has got us a room at the Best Western."
My mom has a date with my uncle and I have to stay home and watch my brother and my cousins.
Coach...I didn't know we practiced on Fridays.
Had a kid who told his grandma he didn't have to go to practice because he was doing so good we let him have the day off. When he came back we confronted him with it and he said he had met a girl on the internet and had to go meet her. Brain surgeon!
Coach we are going shopping, tax free weekend I won't be at the scrimmage.
A kid told our head coach yesterday that his throat was hurting and that his aunt who is a nurse told him his esophagus may be scratched and there was a good chance he was going to have it removed.
"Coach, I thought you meant practice was in two days".
"Coach I can't work out today. My parents told me I have lactic acid in my muscles and it hurts really bad."
Coach: Kelly why were you not at practice.
Kelly: 3 reasons coach. The heat, the hitting, and the running.
Coach: Hard to argue with that son.
Had our senior receiver show up late because his mother had a date the night before and had not returned to take him to morning practice!
Along the married lines--had one that was just married and missed a practice. "Coach my back is out-- think we been doing it on the floor to much."
Hurricane Harbor (water park) with church group. Missed a scrimmage for a water park. Hurt his wrist at the park and will miss the second scrimmage. Love jv lineman!
Had to miss practice for Gee-tar lessons...
Had a kid call in sick and then had the balls to drive by the practice field and honk, rev up his engine, while towing his wave-runner. He's no longer with us!
I'm sure you swim coaches have heard some funny ones yourselves. Feel free to leave your best as comments.
Edited 10/8/14:
Still plenty of traffic ta this post. Several more follered. In case y'all is innerested:
More Excuses
Still More Excuses
Even More Excuses
2 comments:
Just thought of one from last year.
Had a Saturday a.m. home meet scheduled for early season, just to get a few times.
We were going to have a light workout before the meet.
A pair of twins ditched Friday afternoon workout and didn't show for Saturday a.m. workout.
They come strolling in as the meet's about to start and ask what they're swimming.
I tell them they're not swimming (but they can help time).
Their excuse for missing?
"Coach, we had a garage sale."
I had a student do a 'no show' at a Saturday 9/10 invite I was hosting. The student showed up at school on Monday as if nothing was wrong. I had to ask him why he missed the meet.
He said he was trick or treating the night before and didn't get home until 6:30 Saturday morning.
I simply told him to turn his stuff in. I then had a very angry parent with me.
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