It starts off like this:
In order to strengthen existing competitive opportunities and ensure sustainable future success for the Department of Athletics...
It usually ends with something like this:
...East Cupcake University has announced the reclassificaton of men's ___ from varsity to club status.
This time, it's different.
In order to strengthen existing competitive opportunities and ensure sustainable future success for the Department of Athletics, Niagara University has announced a restructuring of its intercollegiate athletics program.
The restructuring includes the addition of women’s track and field as a varsity program and the immediate contraction of the women’s ice hockey program. Niagara’s track and field program will begin competition during the 2013-14 academic year.
Title IX lawyers are scrambling to find first-class seats on non-stop flights to Buffalo...