Thursday, December 20, 2012

Swimming World Interns Strike Again?

A few years ago, I had some fun with some Swimming World articles written by their interns.  Stuff like "trumped the valiant effort" made me wonder if they were being paid (in donut holes) by the word fancy word.

Those write-ups weren't nearly as funny as this one, though (thanks, SZ!).  Seems someone looked at results from junior nationals and put together a real gem on Jonathan Roberts' (NTN) mile win.

Doubt this "work" is worthy of a Pulitzer, but you can judge for yourself here.

Roberts lived up to the expectations of his supporters in the 1650 yard freestyle event as he went full rampant in the playoff and occupied the crown of the race.

The 17-year-old Roberts faced tough competition from Liam Egan of Crimson Aquatics throughout the race, but with his unrelenting efforts, he managed to escape him over the finishing wall for the title with an effort of 15 minutes and 12.01 seconds.

Either something's been lost in the translation, or our public school system's in worse trouble that we thought!

Attention sponsors!  Don't worry that you've never coached your kids and can barely match names with faces.  Just get that relay together and holler:

We're goin' full rampant in this here playoff!  Anyone
else gonna occupy the crown of the race?  Hell no!!
Hands in!  Full rampant on three!  One, two, three,



Deer Slayer said...

Johnnie Roberts was stitting in the bleachers when Liam swam. They didn't battle head to head at all. Johnnie had already swam, Liam swam in the heat that swam in finals. A great swim for Johnnie, he was all by himself, no one to race, Liam was chasing his splits.

Button said...

'They didn't battle head to head at all.'

wait a minute!

you mean, in the one mile crawl, he didn't manage to escape him over the finishing wall, after all, y'all?

Jason said...

HAHAHA! Yeah, Pretty sure bettor is one of the sites that are trying to take some computer writing from results program to a different level.

Someone at Northwestern built the first version, and it does a semi-decent job for baseball, especially since most results packages have play-by-play for baseball. But, it doesn't work the best for a lot of other sports.

Anonymous said...

HA! Very definitely looks like a computer wrote it...or as Button said...if it's one of our H.S. graduates..the system is failing the kids...
"occupied the crown" escaped "over the finishing wall"