Tuesday, November 27, 2007

How Do They Do It?

How do the folks on the U.I.L. Legislative Council keep from laughing at some of the presentations?

Here are a few proposals that were denied/rejected/tabled:

No coach can coach his son on a varsity team.

Is it okay for a mom to coach her daughter?

Coaches not be allowed to run alongside their athletes during cross country meets.

I guess that means swimming in open lanes during races would be out for swim coaches, too.

Allow players to take a drink during a thirty-second time out in basketball.

Does that mean they can’t now? That's pretty idiotic!

Acrylic or artificial nails shall not be allowed in girls basketball.

Next, they'll want to limit hair weaves!

Regulate the length of basketball pants.

I hope we're not going back to short shorts!

Create a rule to dictate hair length.

Do they mean shorter for guys, longer for girls, or both?

Allow fifth year seniors to play football.

Let's lower the bar to reward failure!

Freshmen and sophomores should not be allowed to play on a varsity team until he or she reaches their junior year.

That would have meant last year's guys' team of ten would have been trimmed to a much more manageable four, while the gals' squad of eight would have been a team of two. At least there wouldn't be any relay controversies.

All youth participating in athletics be given equal playing time in all sports.

I couldn't agree more. It's just not fair that an eight-minute 500 freestyler has all the fun while a twenty-one second 50 freestyler barely gets any "playing" time!

I'll bet you hoped I'd include something funny about U.I.L. sponsoring water polo, didn't you?

Sorry, but I'm not going there...

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