More Excuses

Those football guys on The Old Coach have added some more excuses for missing practice to the list. Here are a few:

Had a kid last year give me a note from his parent that said "Please excuse so and so from football practice today. He is allergic to grass and cannot get in the grass. The Dr. said he can get on grass next week."

Had a freshman kid ride the bus home instead of going to practice a few years back. He said he was hungry...

It was a little chilly out the other morning and we had a kid that hid in the lockeroom. His excuse..."Coach, I don't like the cold"

The chickens my mom and dad take to the cockfights in Louisiana got out and I had to round them up before they'd bring me to school.

Had an 8th grader yesterday miss practice because of butt spasms. Yes I said BUTT spasms. I couldn't stop laughing. Same kid broke his nose a couple of weeks ago trying to jump over a pop up dummy!!!!

Band practice

It was cold outside and the temp was around 32. I was out with the 7th graders and when we came in there were a few crying. One of the them couldn't button his pants b/c his hands were too cold. This was before school....7th grade came back 2nd period. I look around and the kid is not there...he comes out on the practice field about 10 mins before the bell rings with a note from the nurse! He went to the nurse bc his hands were so cold!! Couldn't believe it!

Had a Freshman kid miss FB practice one day because he had to go with his gramma to get pinstripes on her car. Also had a high school girl try to get out of a track meet because it was her little sister's birthday.

Had a kid tell me last week he wouldn't be at practice bc he had to get a haircut. He also asked to to relay that message to the head coach.....

Had a JV kid miss practice last week because he went with his mom to get her fiance out of prison........I was speechless.....

Had one go to the track meet only to leave early and miss his event. I asked him why he needed to leave. He said his mom had gotten a promotion and they were going out to eat to celebrate. Mom said he had to leave.

Had a jv kid miss two Mondays in a row because he had to mow his grass. Said he couldn't play on Thursday if the grass wasn't cut. He is no longer with us.

Had a kid come up to the office not too long ago and said his mom wouldn't let him play anymore because he stopped wearing his cup....

Had a kid once tell me he had to miss because his aunt's cat was having kittens.

Had to watch the dog

Had missed the previous two workouts and his mother came up to us after school saying that he hadn't been coming to practice because his helmet made him Claustrophobic

I have to take my dog to obedience class

When I was playing, one of my teammates missed a weeks worth of practice because he wiped his butt with poison oak.

Had a couple of kids on the varsity miss twice last week...when they came back we asked them where they had been for two days - we had seen them at school...their reply, "coach, we don't want to practice anymore we just want to go straight to offseason." to which I replied, "So, you want to quit football with 3 weeks left in the season, after you have worked so hard all year until now?" Which they answered with, "No, coach, we don't want to quit football we just don't want to practice anymore - we just want to do offseason all the time."

Haircut, mama said I need to babysit, had to go to eat with family, tired of getting beat up

Had 1 say that he was crossing an electric fence and touched it and it blew his left testicle off.............sounded bad so I had the reciever coach check it out......he was lying!

Had a kid miss practice because his dad stabbed him, on purpose. Had kids also miss because of haircuts, sick girlfriend... the list goes on forever.

We had a kid studying his band music during the the game on a friday night